Love will be no more, in either of the persons or between them . In fact, Pope John Paul II likens such relationships of mutual use to prostitution.Like Prostitution Consider a businessman who has a relationship with a prostitute on a certain night every week.“Therefore love so understood is self-evidently merely a pretense which has to be carefully cultivated to keep the underlying reality hidden: the reality of egoism, and the greediest kind of egoism at that, exploiting another person to obtain for itself its own ‘maximum pleasure’” Dr.
Still, we have a tendency to take dating so seriously that we never even make it on a date!One fears that if the relationship becomes challenging, demanding, or difficult for the other person, the other may leave.The only way the relationship can survive is to cover up problems and pretend things aren’t as bad as they really are.They each give pleasure to each other and not just to themselves. Since this kind of relationship is still dependent on what I get out of the other person, it prevents me from truly being in communion with her and being committed to her as person.Pope John Paul II points out one serious problem with such a relationship: “The moment they cease to match and to be of advantage to each other, nothing at all is left of the harmony. I’m “committed” to the person only in so far as — and as long as — I receive pleasure or advantage from the relationship.
Catholic dating physical attraction
For example, how many young women give up their virginity and sleep with a man for the emotional security of having a boyfriend or for fear that if they don’t do this, the man may break up with her?How many men just want a good-looking girl to sleep with for the physical pleasure he may derive from the relationship?Lay Witness Catholic United for the Faith, Inc., March/April 2005 In our first reflection on Pope John Paul II’s Love and Responsibility, we considered the "personalist principle," which says that we should not treat other persons merely as a means to an end. In particular, we saw how utilitarianism weakens our relationships by getting us to value people primarily in terms of some pleasure or benefit we receive from our relationships with them.But don’t be afraid to have fun getting to know people in the process!
One reason many couples (whether they be dating, engaged, or married) never confront each other with difficulties is that deep down they know there is not much of a foundation for the relationship to stand on — just the mutual pleasure or benefit.
They each get what they want, and in the process they meet the other person’s desires.
However, the moment the couple ceases to be mutually advantageous to each other, what will happen to this relationship?
If the prostitute can get paid more by a richer man on that particular night of the week, she likely will leave the first businessman for the wealthier one.
On the other hand, if the businessman no longer finds the prostitute pleasurable and meets a younger, more attractive prostitute, he likely will leave the first for the younger one.